On Self-Empathy

I always wonder if there are beings out there that don't experience any self-judgement? Recently I was doing a workshop with a very wise American lady called Judith Lasater. She was telling a story about someone asking the Dalai Lama to talk on the subject of self-Love. Apparently he could not understand why would anyone not love him/her-self. That thought in itself was for him incomprehensible!  

Surely that should be the norm, not the exception!  But sadly it isn't.  Most of us mortals, do have unwanted thoughts that don't serve us.

 A long time ago I adopted by my bedside table two books: " The four Agreements" and  "The Mastery of Love", both by Juan Miguel Ruiz.  Since I read them, I always tried to be much kinder on myself. Whenever a very familiar self-judgement visited me, I would just try to convince myself of the oposite. For instance if I thought: "I am not good enough" I would consciously repeat to myself, "Yes, you are!".

During this course, I learnt that actually that is not the most efficient way to have empathy with myself. Denying a familiar judgement can only make us be in conflict with our rooted belief system. What we can do instead is to observe the thought and just say to ourselves: "Here is that thought visiting me again....How human of me to have that thought....".   You see, just accepting that our fears and insecurities are part of our Humanness is a liberating experience in itself. 

We all have the same needs. When we are too self- absorbed, we have the tendency to think that these thoughts only happen to ourselves and that no one else feels lonely, or not good enough, or not strong enough or not successful enough or not popular enough. All these enoughs! When does it stop not been enough?

Lets embrace our insecurities, sit them by outside rather than trying to hide them under the rug.  There is beauty in acknowledging our faults. Everything is part of the Divine. That is Tantra! The good and the bad are both part of creation.  There is no creation without destruction.  Let's be at ease with the bad and let's feed and strengthen the good. We cannot be compassionate towards others if we don't exercise compassion with ourselves.